Zany Since Middle School

Glee: A Complicated Relationship

Tonight is the series finale of the once mega hit show Glee.

I love Glee. I love hate-watching it and I love watching it for exactly what it is. For the great music, ridiculous drama, and the inability for any sense of consistency , I have enjoyed every episode of this over the top show from the beginning.


At first I feel in love with the show's the dorky, always feeling like an outcast side. It started as a decently diverse, mockery of teenage shows. It was funny and new and the show everyone was talking about.

Then came Brittana. From their first appearance on Glee, I admittedly feel in love with Santana. Yes, she is a bully and that should be a full stop, but she was so funny and had perfect timing I couldn't help myself. The few times Brittany was allowed to talk, she had priceless one liners. Which, ironically is how Brittana was form, a stupid one liner that the writers decided to make into one of the most poplar lesbian couples on TV.

The first time Santana expressed her feelings to Brittany was the first time my high school queer self felt actually represented on TV.

"'Cause it made me do a lot of thinking. What I realized…" she takes a deep breath… "What I realized is why I'm such a bitch all the time. I'm a bitch because I'm angry. Because I have all of these feelings. Feelings for you, that I'm afraid of dealing with, because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences."


I think I watched that particular scene about 100 times, if not more.

The first season dealt with Kurt coming out to his father which forever placed Burt Hummel as best TV dad forever. It was perfect and exactly how parents should react to their kids. In the third season we got to deal with Santana's coming out. The difference this time is instead of choosing to come out, Santana was forced out by the shows hero.


As someone who was forced out in high school this particular story line was hard. What could have been an amazing and moving plot turned into the bitchy girl finally getting what she deserve and the hero football player coming out looking like a hero. Ryan Murphy even had the audacity to have Finn sing "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" to Santana in response to outing her, this along with "I Kissed A Girl" sang in the same episode should have been the end of Glee for me, but I couldn't help myself. Despite Ryan Murphy treating Kurt's coming out with the utmost respect and all but shitting on the lesbian relationship, I still loved this show, and Brittana and the wonderful #gaysharks live tweets.


People outside the queer community don't understand the effect of your first queer TV couple. The couple that you ship so hard it hurts, because for the first time you feel represented. It is a weird form of validation of your own life that most straight couples get every time the turn on the television. And while Willow and Tara might have been my first experience of a lesbian couple, Brittany and Santana was my first real couple that I felt connected to.


Thanks to my deep love of all things Brittana, I was introduced to AfterEllen and the wonderful world of Glee recaps and #gaysharks live tweets. I had a community of other queer women that I never had before, all thanks to this cult show.

In the six seasons, Ryan Murphy and Co. has put this show through hell. With its race problem, sexist problem, and trans problem, Glee is far from perfect. I love/hate this show in all of it's horrible glory, but it still has a special place in my heart. I will be sad to see this show end tonight.


So what are your memories of this show? Did it have any impact on your life? Do you still hate watch it?

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